To communicate a variety of messages over the course of a workout, you will be changing (burning calories) quite often. Bring a bag with enough room for all your clothes, few of which you should be wearing as you sprint into the locker room out of breath. This first presentation implies your workout is done. You're not arriving, you're leaving. And no one likes a quitter. Also, bring 10-12 locks to reserve a perimeter of lockers around you to create a buffer zone. Once protected by negative space, you'll want to change into your first outfit—one for stretching (also known as posing). For this stage of the workout, I am inspired by the iconic fashion of gymnastic coaches. Zip your zippers all the way up, showing you are sporty but not active enough to work up a sweat. This intimidates other members, leaving you with a quiet moment. If that doesn't work, fake a phone call and use phrases like, "Going to prom won't get her to the Olympics!", "What is the time difference in Romania anyway?", and "Hi baby, we're out of hand-chalk, can you pick some up on your way home?"